We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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