I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
