He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
