Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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