Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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