I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
