MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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