if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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