I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
