So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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