he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
