just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
So many bounce houses so little time
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
send nudes
from the living room?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
