is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
