Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
