covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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