In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize