If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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