Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I cockslap morals
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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