I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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