You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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