Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
