so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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