well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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