When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
