is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
