Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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