had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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