I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
