I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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