I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
