We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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