Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
