He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
