I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
