Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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