bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
