Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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