By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
