So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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