We need to rekindle our bromance
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
