I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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