i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
