Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
