happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
His nipple licking is glorious
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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