I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
