It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
