Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
you win again, gameday.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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