Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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