i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
