Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
