you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize