Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
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