So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
