Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize
