My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize