I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
