what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
