Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You're a waste of cheezeits
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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