i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
