...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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