you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
