whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
