I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
