I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
