Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Nicole vs. Life
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
