When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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