i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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