the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize